Tess and I are trying to write papers at R.P. Tracks. I have so many windows open all that can be seen of my file name is "operational anal...", as opposed to the full and much more boring name of "operational analysis." And this makes me daydream of the days when I get to write papers on diverging views of sexuality.
Also, am currently obsessed with Of Montreal after dancin-my-ass-off-crazy-good-live-show attended as part of subversive mini road trip to Hendrix College entitled Operation Freshman Year wherein I also camped in a stranger's yard.
The life. It continues to be the good.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
if wishes were horses
I have never so clearly seen exercise as allegorical as I did last night when I tried bikram yoga, or "hot" yoga, for the first time. Holy crap, it kicked my ass. Two words that immediately come to mind when I reflect on this experience are "excruciating" and "exhilarating."
So here I am in a 100+ degree room, sad little me with my vaso vagal syncope and my hives, and it is do or die. You have to breathe. You have to stretch. You have to push. You have to avoid slipping in your own sweat. You have to be fierce. You have to want it.
In my past experiences with yoga, which I was quite serious about at the time, there was always room for a little relaxing, or for a giggle with a friend. You could half-ass a pose if you weren't feeling it. You could overdo it on the next one if you wanted to make it up to yourself. But when it's 105 degrees and it takes a moderate amount of effort just to breathe and keep from running out of the room, the effort you give each posture must be more deliberate.
I believe the hype that there are immense mental and physical health benefits to this. However, it will be worth it to continue just for the self-satisfaction and sweet parallelism this brings to mind.
You make a difficult decision. You watch your life fall apart. You put it back together in the most reasonable, honorable way you can sort out. It's excruciating and exhilarating. It takes a moderate amount of effort to breathe and keep from running out of the room.
In yoga, and within a transitory period in life, it takes massive energy to have small successes. But then when you listen to the instructor, and internalize her commentary when she says that you're already doing the work if you're trying, the end results matter much less. And through the sweat and tears, your realize you can start to have control again. Not control in the way you would tighten your fist around something, but control in the sense that you know what you want and you feel like you can have it.
Life is beautiful.
I believe the hype that there are immense mental and physical health benefits to this. However, it will be worth it to continue just for the self-satisfaction and sweet parallelism this brings to mind.
You make a difficult decision. You watch your life fall apart. You put it back together in the most reasonable, honorable way you can sort out. It's excruciating and exhilarating. It takes a moderate amount of effort to breathe and keep from running out of the room.
In yoga, and within a transitory period in life, it takes massive energy to have small successes. But then when you listen to the instructor, and internalize her commentary when she says that you're already doing the work if you're trying, the end results matter much less. And through the sweat and tears, your realize you can start to have control again. Not control in the way you would tighten your fist around something, but control in the sense that you know what you want and you feel like you can have it.
Life is beautiful.
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